What's Your Identity?
Once A Pro Athlete, Always A Pro Athlete.
WHEN I WAS 17 years old, I participated in the junior tennis tournaments in Cap d’Ail and Beaulieu, which took place the week before and after the Rolex Monte-Carlo Masters. Thanks to a partnership with the pro tournament, we got invited to practice at the Monte Carlo Country Club once during the week. I was stunned by the magnificent scenery, a mix of orange clay melting with the blue horizon as we chased yellow balls. It felt unreal.
That time reminds me vividly of the difficulty of deciding what you want to do in life. I had signed up for a license at the French university because it was expected of me. I had no conviction; it was just to check a box and say I have a degree, which I could use to get into a renowned business school. Just to say I was studying.
Meanwhile, I was secretly dying to play more than just a few hours of tennis at my club, which is why I played in one of the very few junior tournaments to have the opportunity to immerse myself in professional surroundings. I was fascinated by those junior players coming from all over the world. I would observe them so closely—they looked so strong, so determined. They were like aliens to me. They looked like real tennis players. No, they WERE real tennis players. How could I become one of them?
You can’t just decide to put on an outfit as you step on the tennis court. At least, not for me. I had to spend time in that environment to be able to fit in properly. To be part of that world. To build an identity as a professional athlete. Not having grown up in such an environment, I had to slowly make it grow inside me to believe it and affirm it.
How do you suddenly state that you are a professional tennis player? Once you decide it? Once you earn money from it? Once it becomes the activity to which you dedicate the most time? After five years traveling on the tour, I was still writing “student” on the customs form at the airport.
But once you feel the identity of a professional athlete, oh, how hard it is to get rid of! Ironically, four years after I stopped traveling the professional tour, I was still writing “tennis player” on that same customs form.
Some of my best friends retired from professional tennis five years ago, some longer than that, and the identity of an athlete still runs so intensely in their blood. It is how they see themselves, even if they haven’t trained for months.
I was having lunch with a dear friend not long ago. She is about 70 and was a very successful pro tennis player. She was telling me an amusing story about one of her post-tennis career jobs when I commented, “At least, it was a fun adventure.”
I noticed her daydreaming a bit. She responded, “Oh yes, but it was not just fun. It was a lot of sweat and hard work as well.”
“I was talking about your experience as an agent.”
“Oh, I was talking about being a tennis player.”
And I thought, “Oh, her too.”
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